Don’t you want to see me before I go?
Don’t you want to try one last time
And know?
Don’t you want to taste the feeling of bliss?
Or would it mean it’s me
You so badly miss?
Wouldn’t you rather know
Than choose the easy option
And let me go?
Did you really think?
My heart is to be protected
Did you really think
I would open it up again to you
Only for it to be bruised once more
Just when the marks you had left
Were starting to fade?
Did you really think I would want to inflict
The possibility of pain
All over again
After everything I’ve been through?
Did you really think I would want to try ‘once more’
After the number of times we already did?
No
this
this, is the moment I walk away
Without getting carried away
I wonder helplessly into my mind
consider all the possibilities that have stemmed
from one moment’s meeting
I wish to reign in my desire
protect this spiralling heartsake
And yet it presents itself to me
as the most addictive of feelings
Do I like you?
Or do I like liking you?
The very act of wanting has surpassed the object itself
To be different
To be different
Is to challenge everything accepted
To go against the grain
And think for oneself
Build up from the ground
Not follow the trappings
Of the crowd
To listen to your deepest needs
Not those bestowed upon you
By faces you barely know
Too good
You have it all
You’re what many would kill to be
And yet
Too good is scary for most men
Preferring the comfort
Of cozy mediocrity
Too good is too much
Too high a stake
Too strong
Too funny
Too much to lose
Darling don’t you see
You’re too good for him?
I have so much love to give
I have so much love to give
But nowhere to put it
Save me from emptying
The cosmos of my heart
On nothing
Unsure to what end?
Right from the start
You were unsure of me
But I kept fighting for us
For what I hoped we could be
*
It was always a vicious cycle
Where I held faith
Until you left it all
But then just like before
You come back once more
*
Yet this time I respected myself enough
Had grown in strength
To know that I deserved
A love that is sure of itself
*
Because how many times
Can the push / pull continue
Before the game becomes
A loss for us both?